


Welcome distraction

by A_simple_lee



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anxiety, Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Other, Panic Attack, Tickling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-24 18:40:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22002640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_simple_lee/pseuds/A_simple_lee
Summary: You have a panic attack, but Natasha sees, and comes to help.
Relationships: Natasha Romanov (Marvel) & Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 38





	Welcome distraction

This is fine.

It should be fine.

The cup of hot water swirls in time with your spoon. Moonlight refracts off of it from the window.

This will pass.

Steam billows up, brushing the skin of your face as you hunch over the mug. You lift out the spoon and watch some leftover droplets cascade off of it onto the table as you set it down. 

This is fine.

Deep breath in. Stay calm.

Your hands tap out a rhythm against your pajama bottoms. 

The walls are grey.

There are one, two, three mugs on the draining board. 

The clock on the wall is blue.

Breathe in for 1,

2, 

3, 

4.

Out for 1, 

2, 

3,

4, 

5, 

6,

7\. 

The grounding helps but doesn’t stave off the knot of constricting panic clawing its way up your windpipe from your stomach. It’s blossoming in your chest, your lungs. You want to rip it out, want to stop the thoughts blaring through your head at a million miles an hour. 

Instead, you sit.

And give up on the grounding exercises the minute the clock strikes 2 am, because the panic is too much, too strong a wave for you to shut it out. You push away the cup of water and walk over to the window as the panic builds inside your skull, and the tears burn hot down your cheeks, pausing at your jaw before trailing down your neck as each ragged breath grows more forced, more hungry for air than the last. The sky is cloudless and it calms you for a split second. Your body is in overdrive but at least everything else is still.

There are 1, 2, 3 stars in Orion’s belt. Nevermind. The counting makes it worse, feels too much like counting every second that feels like an eternity whilst you’re trapped in your own misbehaving body. 

“Hey,” Nat’s voice comes out of nowhere, though your hand reaches out to take hers the minute you realise she’s walked over. “Breathe.”

Oh, if only it were that easy. You humour her for a second anyway, and focus on her thumb brushing soothingly over your hand whilst you try to school your nervous system back into balance.

It passes. It always does. The blood thrumming in your ears goes quieter, your throat opens up again. Everything feels off, but less like it’s falling apart. 

“Okay?” Nat’s scanning your features. You give her a weak smile.

“Good morning.” 

She tuts and pretends not to be amused by your jovial attitude. The act is familiar to you both.

“You wanna sit?” 

You’re already walking back to the table, already grasping your cup of lukewarm water and taking a long sip. A long silence stretches out. Crickets chirp outside and you take a minute to just listen, before speaking.

“Sorry.” 

“Don’t apologise-”

“I woke you up, didn’t I?”

“Good thing you did.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t. Apologise.” She hands you a tissue and holds your hand as you wipe away the tears. “Do you want to talk about it?”

You shake your head. The emotions feel too raw and loud and painful. They’re still angry. You worry the knot of panic will climb its way back up if you let the words spill out too soon.

“Can we go back to bed?” 

“You want me to stay with you?”

“…Yeah.”

“Okay.”

There are a few blankets lying around in the lounge. You traipse over and set some up on one of the couches. Nat takes a minute to arrange the cushions whilst you go and get a fresh cup of water. She’s already settled when you get back, and you clamber onto the sofa next to her. Her fingers card through your hair for a while.

“Hey, Nat?”

She hums, arm moving to wrap around your waist.

“Thanks.” Your voice is still a little thin. Still on the verge of breaking again. She hugs you a little tighter.

“I’m here for you.” Is all she says, her thumb circling over your side as she speaks. You hum back.

“I’m happy you are,” you huff and shift away from her just a little bit, because her movements tickle a little, and in your sleepy, exhausted state, it’s the next best thing from outright twitching away. “Don’t.”

“What? Oh, sorry.” There’s a hint of a smile in her voice.

“S’okay. I don’t mind.” The fatigue clouds your head and suddenly admitting you’re a little touch-starved doesn’t seem as nerve-wracking as it normally would.

“You don’t?”

“I-No. I…wouldn’t hate it if you carried on. If you don’t want to though, that’s fine-” You hold back a gasp as she skitters a couple fingers over your side. 

“No, it’s fine.” She asserts, tracing a few random patterns over the fabric of your t shirt. You try your best not to squirm away from the feeling; it’s soothing, in a way. It forces you to be present, distracts you from everything that’s just happened - which is exactly what you need, you think. Her hand trails up and down your side, and although you have to bite back a giggle it still feels calming - you’re safe with her. You’re loved. It’s okay. You’ll be okay.

Nat stays with you the whole night until sunrise wakes you up the next day.


End file.
